Family Foundations: From the Ground Up

Genesis 2:4 – 25

 

When building a house, any structure really, you don’t begin by placing the roof and windows and furnishing the inside. You begin by placing a solid foundation on solid ground, and then you build upward through framing and so on. Most folks know about the Tower of Pisa, which due to an unstable foundation on unstable ground it began leaning during its construction process, and despite straightening and stabilization efforts over the centuries still leans a few degrees from perpendicular.

 

When looking at our own families, we might be inclined to think that our own family seems to be leaning to one side. In other words, somehow the foundation is off and out of alignment. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. We all have some level of dysfunction in our families, yours is not the first family to lean towards one side or the other. That’s because all families, even my own family, are made up of sinners in need of God’s grace, so take heart because God’s grace abounds, and He rebuilds what we break.

 

As I work through this series of sermons on the family, the intention is not to beat anyone down about their own family situations. These sermons are going to be filled with evidence of God’s grace and their intent is to show God’s amazing, undeserved mercy in the lives of families.

 

Our main passage today is the account of creation in Genesis chapter 2. We’ll touch on a few other Scriptures, but our main focus will be here. Let’s read God’s Word together, Genesis 2:4 – 25.

 

When Jesus was questioned by the Pharisee’s about divorce being lawful, didn’t answer them with law. Instead, he reached all the way back to our passage from today, to creation and God’s blueprint for the family.

 

You’ve probably noticed that the account creation is given twice in the Bible, chapter 1 and chapter 2. Scholars have long debated the reasons for it, but the reasons for it are less important than what God is telling us through both stories. To get the full view of God’s foundation for the family, let’s take a step back to Genesis 1:26 - 28 for a moment.

Notice all the plural pronouns. God said, “Let us,” “our image,” and “our likeness.” Those are plurals for God, a hint, if you will, already in the OT of the Trinity. A then God refers to his creation in the plural sense as well. “Let them have dominion,” “Male and female he created them,” and “God blessed them and said to them.” “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.”

 

What does it mean to be created in the image of God? Certainly, mankind is the only part of God’s creation that was created in the image of God, and we see that the creation of man is the crown jewel of God’s handiwork in creation, that’s why it’s listed last in chapter 1.

 

Being created in the image of God includes the ability to reason and relate to God, but it also involves representative leadership, representative rule over the earth as God directs both male and female to do.

 

In ancient times, when there was a ruler, a Pharaoh, a Ceasar, or King, his image would be placed in various places throughout his empire where he couldn’t be physically present all the time. His image being there was evidence that he ruled over that territory, despite not being physically there. (DMV). Since mankind is created in the image of God, mankind is appointed as God’s royal representatives to rule the earth in his place.

 

Now, of course God is indeed everywhere all the time, but in creating Adam and Eve God is saying that he wants them to rule over creation for him. Notice how in these verses from chapter 1 it says, “Let them have dominion over the fish, the fowl, the livestock, and over all the earth.” Rule it for me God says.

 

But being charged with ruling over something carries a sense of stewardship, accountability for how it’s ruled over. Adam and Eve, mankind, are accountable for how they rule what God has given them. And we see here in the creation account that men and women are created equal in value. Equal in value, equally created in God’s image—both integral to what God intends to do with his world.

 

Now we’re about to go into territory that is so counter-cultural to today’s world, that some might just call me old fashioned, but stay with me here. This all comes from God’s Word, and God, and His Word, is the authority over our lives, regardless of if it’s counter cultural.

It’s very clear in the Bible that man and woman are of equal value and are to rule over the earth together, but it’s also very clear that they have different roles. This is found in our main passage today from chapter 2. While chapter 1 gave us a summary of creation, Genesis 2 gives us the sequence of events during the 6^th day of creation.

 

Notice in our passage, Adam is created first in v.7: “Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.” It’s been jokingly said that sometimes women expect too much of men considering that we came from dust…

 

Anyway, it says the Lord God formed the man. He didn’t create the woman yet. Adam is created first and Adam is given the command in v.15: “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, ‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.’”

 

Notice that God never told Eve that. Clearly Adam relayed that message to Eve, as we see in chapter 3, but what we see here is that God made Adam, then he made the garden, and what a beautiful paradise that garden was, and he put Adam there and what we see here is that Adam is given the responsibility over everything in that garden, including obeying the boundaries set by the Lord God.

 

What amazing provision God has given the first man. Adam has every need met, all he has to do is steward well what God has placed under his care and stay within the boundaries God had placed on his life. Throughout the entirety of both creation accounts, God calls everything he does ‘good,’ even calling it ‘very good’ after creating mankind, until now. He saw that Adam was all alone and that was not good.

 

Men, we weren’t created to be alone. This isn’t a knock against singleness, the apostle Paul was a single man, and advocated for it! But he certainly didn’t go through life alone now did he? We were never meant to live in isolation, that’s why being a part of the local church is so important, for married and single folk alike! So, God sets out to remedy this, and he creates the animals in the same way he created Adam, out of the ground, and what does God do here?

He brings to Adam every animal of the field and bird of the sky to name them, and whatever Adam called them became its name. That indicates to us that Adam was given authority. Throughout the Bible, the ability to name demonstrates authority. Jesus changed Simon’s name to Peter, rock. When JtB was born and Elizabeth wanted to name him John, everyone turned to Zechariah his father for the name, which he confirmed was John. Adam has authority over all living creatures. He names them.

 

But none of those creatures were good enough for God to be a helper for Adam. You know what happens next. God puts Adam into a deep sleep, extracts a rib from his body, and creates the woman. And you’ll notice that now that he’s made the woman, he brings her to Adam and in doing so basically says to Adam, “Ok, what are you going to call her? You are responsible for her too.”

 

And Adam says in v.23: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” And notice the structure changes in the text. Adam doesn’t just name her; he breaks out in poetry! So many poems have been written throughout history about man’s love for woman, but Adam did it first. “At last someone like me,” exclaims Adam as he names her.

 

Adam was given the authority to name her, Adam has ultimate responsibility for his wife. Men and women are equal in value. The woman’s role is going to be incredibly important, as we’ll see. She is going to be a suitable helpmeet for Adam, but in the order of authority, she is to work with him, and he carries the ultimate responsibility for her before God.

 

When did that become so counter-cultural? Why is it counter-cultural? One of the reasons is because people so often confuse “ability” with “roles.” Today’s society responds to this biblical foundation for men and women, husbands and wives, by immediately attacking and saying that we think women are inferior? They ask, why can’t there be women elders or pastors? They say, and they’re correct in saying, that there are plenty of women who know their Bible’s better and are better Bible teachers than even some pastor’s.

 

We’re not arguing with any of that. We’re not arguing about a woman’s intelligence, spiritual maturity, or abilities. We’re talking about God ordained roles for the only two real genders that exist.

There have been many great women who have impacted our world, there are many great women here in this church who have impacted our church tremendously, and I’m grateful for each one of you. However, whether you’re Margaret Thatcher one of the greatest PM’s Britain has had, Susan B. Anthony who led the women’s right to vote movement, or you’re a career woman and a wife and mother, or you serve in the local church, you still must answer to God for fulfilling the roles He has created for you.

 

It's ok, it’s acceptable to be a businesswoman, a major leader, a career woman, and it’s ok to be a stay at home wife and mom too. What’s unacceptable to God is to shirk the roles He’s ordained for each gender. And notice I’m referring to the roles for each gender.

 

Let me give you another reason why there’s so much confusion about and resistance to all of this, that is because of the misunderstanding of the meaning of the word submit. That’s taught in the New Testament.

 

You bring up biblical submission and you can almost hear someone somewhere saying that we want women to be a doormat for their husbands. Let me be abundantly clear here and tell you emphatically, that is a no, that is not at all the teaching of the Bible.

 

You ever consider why God chose a rib to create woman? Some scholars since ancient times have speculated that he could’ve chosen a hand or a foot which would give a clearer illustration of woman being under man’s authority, but instead God chose a rib.

 

Even Paul referenced the rib when he referenced Gen. 2 in his letter to the Ephesians. His appeal to the woman as man’s rib highlights their loving unity, rather than domestic equality. This is the significance of the rib; they are made of the same human “stuff.” Man and woman were made for each other, not only physically but socially as well so that she can walk with him through life by his side, as his partner, both walking together.

 

The imagery is not that of a servant and master. The Bible is so wonderfully nuanced about this point. Even though it uses the word “submit,” nowhere in the Bible does it say that a man can demand submission from his wife. “You’re a Christian woman. You must submit to me.” Nowhere in the Bible does it say that.

But it does have very clear instructions to men. It’s a fulltime job, really. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” Eph. 5:25. “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1 Pet. 3:7.

 

That’s the responsibility of the man, that’s his role, to love his wife as Christ loved the church and to live with her with understanding. How much did Christ love the church? He died for her! When we talk about submission, we’re not talking about a master-slave scenario. The Bible even talks about men also submitting to their wives. This is a mutual kind of submission, it’s the kind of submission where they are one together, both ultimately submitting to God.

 

Listen, I’m a guy and I’ve done more than my fair share of foolish, boneheaded things, but let me tell you, some of the most foolish things I’ve done are failures to communicate with my wife about important decisions that need to be made. And I fail to communicate even in the little things, often. Husbands, sound familiar? We just may be fools together.

 

Seriously though, God has often led me through the wisdom of my lovely bride. While I have ultimate responsibility for her and the kids before God, she is a wise woman, and she a wise woman whom God has often used to give us guidance.

 

By the way, the division of responsibility in the Bible between husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, is not entirely clear, and that’s for a purpose because every family is indeed different. The roles ordained by God are not about who does the cooking and cleaning and who goes out brings home the bacon. They are about who’s charged with and responsible for leading the family, physically and spiritually, and who’s charged with following that lead.

 

And there’s one more thing to say about submission, it’s about discernment. This is a discerning submission. A Christian wife knows that she cannot submit to her husband when he asks her to do something immoral or illegal because she has her own obligation to Jesus, which is greater than her obligation to her husband. This shouldn’t happen in a Christian household, but sadly it happens even among professed Christians. It’s one of the struggles that happens all over the world.

Either way, a Christian wife must learn under the good hand of God and by grace how to still be a helpmeet in those situations, while retaining her faith and being obedient and submitting to God.

 

What the beginning of Genesis tells us about men and women, husbands and wives, doesn’t end here though. You see, sin messes everything up really badly. When we read the next chapter, Genesis 3, we get the whole story. Adam and Eve sin and then what?

 

They hear God walking through the garden in the cool of the day and hide. Does God say, “Eve, did you eat the fruit of the tree?” Nope, uh-uh. Sorry gentlemen, but in v.9 it says, “But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, ‘Where are you?’” You have responsibility for your wife.

 

Now I just told you a little bit ago that you should listen to your wife. Yes, you should always be in communication, always making decisions together, but if she gives you bad advice and tells you to sin against God you have a responsibility to say no.

 

Adam has the responsibility. The Lord God asks Adam, “Have you eaten of the tree?” And what does Adam say? “Oh God, I am guilty, I know I had responsibility for my wife. I am guilty.” Nope, not a chance. It all began here, folks, at the literal beginning. Let me paraphrase for you what Adam says, “The woman whom YOU gave to me, this weak-willed woman, she took of the tree, and what’s a guy supposed to do? She was eating, it looked tasty!”

 

Adam blames his wife, even though there wasn’t a chance on earth that he had married the wrong woman! Men I tell ya. But Eve doesn’t do much better, when God asks her, she turns around and blames the serpent, and the serpent, well he didn’t have a leg to stand on!

 

What happens next is that we see that conflict is built right into marriage. In v.16 God says to Eve, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;” and he adds, “your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” The fight is going to be built right into it. Marriage is going to be difficult, and the question is do you want the easy way out, or do you want to build character and all the other growth that comes from this relationship?

 

Conflict is built right into the marriage relationship. God is going to expel them from the garden. There is no going back to paradise on this side of heaven. Sin has kept us separated from God and His garden. But amid all of this, God introduces something. He is going to give us a Redeemer. That’s what it says in v.15 when God says to the serpent, “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.”

 

And you know what else? Adam and Eve sewed fig leaves to hide their shame, their nakedness, and they may have hidden it from each other, but they couldn’t hide it from God. And what does God graciously do? Gen. 3:21, “And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.”

 

God is demonstrating right off the bat that there is no cheap answer to sin. By His actions God is telling us that blood must be shed for sin. We will be covered, our sin will be covered, it will be taken away by the blood that is shed. By clothing Adam and Eve God tells us that the fig leaves weren’t enough, that nothing we could ever do would cut it.

 

• Transformative Truth – God established the foundation for families, and He provides grace when we fall short.

 

God must be the one to do it. He sacrificed the animals to provide Adam and Eve with clothes and He provided the Redeemer, Jesus, the Lamb of God, who took away the sin of the world by His sacrifice on the cross. Because of Him, grace and mercy and forgiveness are poured into families, into marriages because without it, conflict would win out and the family would fall apart.

 

Of course, you know what happened to Adam and Eve. They had kids. Their oldest was Cain, and Cain in a jealous fit kills his brother Abel because Abel was accepted by God and Cain couldn’t stand it. And you thought yours was the first dysfunctional family, right? No, it happened here first. But from now on in the Bible, wherever there is sin, there is going to be grace.

 

• Transformative Point – Because of God’s grace, you can build upon the foundation God has established for your family.

 

The end of chapter 2 tells us what the outcome is of God’s plan.

Let’s go back to our main passage, Genesis 2:24 – 25 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”

 

That’s the plan for families. It begins with husband and wife, father and mother. They leave their families of origin; they leave the authority of their families of origin, and they become one. And what a beautiful picture of the most intimate human relationship on earth. They were naked and not ashamed. They had nothing to be ashamed of! This isn’t about their bodies, but their soul and spirit. There was no sin, not on earth yet and not between them. That state is what we are to strive to get back to, but how?

 

Grace. Grace makes that happen. God gives you grace today. Grace for us husbands so that we can learn how to love our wives as Christ loves his church. Grace for wives so that you can freely, safely, and confidently submit to your husband’s leadership. Grace for husbands and wives both so that you can walk through this life side by side, leading and raising your families together.

 

A marriage that is characterized by the constant outpouring of grace on one another, the same grace God has given you, is how you build upon the foundation God has laid out for you. That is God’s blueprint for the family. Distinct roles and a whole lot of grace.

 

Let us pray.