Family: The Heart of the Home Deuteronomy 6:1 – 9

 

How many of us have been told by our parents or someone in authority in your life, ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’? How many of us have said that to our own kids? In reality, this often leads kids to follow the opposite path, because ‘Monkey see, monkey do,’ is much a more realistic saying.

 

Our actions speak volumes. Contemporary culture says you’re your value is dependent upon external things like your appearance, your possessions, or your athleticism. We live in an era where there are no values except those that you choose to have, everyone has their own ‘truth.’

 

So my question for parents is this: what do you want for your children in life? You might say, “Well, I want them to be able to do well in school, be honest, and excel. I want them to stay away from drugs and alcohol and other addictions, and to become good people who excel in their careers and are productive members of society.”

 

Now if you end there, if that’s your end goal, then you’re not really a Christian parent because the goals I just outlined could be the same goals of parents from any spiritual background, even atheists, because even atheists have a moral consciousness because even though they refuse to acknowledge it God also created them in His image.

 

Any secular, worldly parent could achieve the goals I outlined. That’s not Christian parenting because there’s nothing distinctly Christian about them. Christian parenting has to take things a step further and say that we’re aiming for children who have been redeemed by the gospel, who love God with all of their hearts, and God has birthed within them the new life of Christ.

 

And they love God, not just because they have to or because rules are good for them, but their very motivation has been changed by the gospel. That’s what we want for our kids as Christian parents. Naturally this then begs the question of, how do we get there?

 

 

Parents are called by God to set the example for their kids, to model for them and teach them Godly values, and that influence doesn’t end when they turn 18 either. And kids, both minor and adult, have their own responsibilities in this relationship as well. The real truth is from God and is found in His Word, let’s read God’s Word together: Deut. 6:1 – 9.

 

Is anyone surprised that the blueprint for godly parenting is found all the way in the Pentateuch, in Deuteronomy also known as ‘the book of the law’? In my early attempts to read through the Bible, reading through the first five books was grueling.

 

But once I made it through, I realized that you can’t fully understand Jesus and how He fulfilled the law without at least having read the law. These books set the foundation for the incarnation of Christ, His ministry on earth, and the teachings of the apostles contained in the NT.

 

            Deuteronomy, which literally means ‘second law,’ is a retelling by Moses of the teachings and events of Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers and it includes an extended review of the Ten Commandments. In it, Moses reminds the people of God’s faithfulness and love, but also of God’s wrath on the previous generation. He repeatedly charges Israel to keep the Law.

 

            Chapter 5 contains a retelling of the Ten Commandments, and so logically what follows to begin our passage today is essentially a summary of the law, and what we’re supposed to do with it.

 

Verses 1 & 2 are one long sentence. Moses begins by telling the Israelites that this is the law that God commanded him to teach them, that they may do them in the land they are about to enter and possess. And then he tells them why.

 

The first reason why is that we, the adults and responsible ones, may fear the Lord. Remember, fear has two meanings in Scripture, one is terror and freight, being afraid or in fear. The other is awe and reverence for God. Really, true awe and reverence for God involves a little of the other kind of fear, doesn’t it? I mean he controls life and death and the outcome of our lives.

 

Moses taught Israel the law God gave him so that they may obey it, but also that they may fear God, them and their children and their children’s children, by keeping the whole law all the days of their lives.

Now, there’s two things to note there. An expectation that we teach our children and grand children the ways of God, and a promise that if we do that our days may be long.

 

I’ll get back to the expectations of parents in a moment. Moses goes on in v.3 to reiterate his exhortation to Israel to ‘hear’ which is to listen and make sure they follow God’s law, ‘that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.’

 

In the OT, blessing from God or curses from God were directly tied to whether God’s people followed the law or not, and this has led to a skewed belief by many non-Christians that God is a transactional and punitive and vengeful God. While God’s children do suffer because they do stray from and compromise God’s law, even in the OT you can see that God is God of great love and mercy.

 

But that doesn’t negate the promise here, follow the law of God so that it may go well with you. The boundaries God places on our lives is for our own benefit, not to suck the joy and fun out of life. There really is so much more fun within the safety provided by the boundaries of our heavenly Father. It’s true fun without real risk.

 

When it comes to parenting, boundaries are an absolute must. But sometimes we don’t know how to set boundaries. Maybe our parents didn’t set boundaries with us or the boundaries they set were truly unreasonable, not just in our childish estimation.

 

While on the surface, the world is drastically different today than when God gave Moses the law, the same basic principles of life exist. Because of that, the exhortation here applies today. God’s boundaries for our lives are best and must be applied to our parenting.

 

It’s simple, God’s boundaries for our lives and the lives of our children are anchored in obeying God’s Word. We don’t need to reinvent the parenting wheel; it’s right here in Scripture.

 

Moses then goes to write what became known as ‘The Great Shema,’ because of the opening verb of the exhortation. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.”

When Jesus was questioned by a teacher of the Law about which is the greatest commandment, Jesus answers him in Matthew 22 by quoting this. This is the greatest commandment for our lives, this is the foundational boundary in life. We are to recognize God as the one true God and we must love Him with all of our being.

 

That love for Him must inform all that we do, from how we live our lives to how we raise our kids and relate with our adult children too. But Moses doesn’t stop there, so now I return to the expectation of parents that I mentioned earlier.

 

He goes on to drive home the point of keeping the law by saying that these words that he commanded them must be on their heart, it’s not enough to just know the Word of God, but it must be on your heart. There could be a whole series of sermons on how to do that, and I’m sure there are numerous Bible studies out there about how to do that, but I’m going to keep it simple today.

 

Scripture memorization is great, Psalm 119:11, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” That’s a foundational spiritual discipline. Ensuring a daily quiet and prayer time, praying to align your will with God’s will is another way. These and other spiritual disciplines ought to be a regular part of our lives, a very visible part of our lives. Our walk with God is not something that’s meant to be hidden behind closed doors, or a bush in the garden if your Adam.

 

Parents, you set the example of what a faithful walk with God looks like, and Moses here is telling you such. God’s word is to be on your heart first, and then you are to teach them to your children. Moses says in v.7, “You shall teach them diligently to your children.”

 

The NIV translates the meaning of that more accurately when it translates that verse as, “Impress them on your children.” Impress them on your children. This isn’t merely book work like any other schoolwork, this carries weight with it.

 

The imagery here is of an engraver of a monument who takes a hammer and chisel in hand and with painstaking care etches a text into the face of a solid slab of granite. The sheer work of such a task is challenging, but once it’s done the message is there to stay.

 

That’s the enormity, the gravity, the seriousness of a parent’s responsibility to impress into their children the words of covenant faith in God. Seems daunting, but Moses simplifies that as well. The best way to ingrain anything in our minds and our children’s minds is by repetition. This repetition comes naturally when we walk in the ways of the Lord.

 

That’s what we see here in the rest of v.7 and 8-9. Talk about God and His word when you sit at home and when you’re on the road, when you lie down, and when you get up. While we could certainly take this extremely literal, there’s nothing wrong with sitting down and turning on the tv to watch the big game. What is being covered here is this, take every opportunity you have with your kids to teach them the Word of God.

 

Teach them about God at home and when you’re away. Teach them about God from the moment you get up to the moment you lie down to sleep. God is good all the time and all the time God is good, teach them about God all the time, and all the time teach them about God.

 

The best way to do that, is for you to live out your walk with God in front of your kids. Like our passage says, tie them on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorposts of your house and your gates.

 

I know a family that went into their house when it was under construction, it was in the framing stage where all the studs were exposed. They went around and wrote Scripture onto various studs and door frames and then when construction was finished the Word of God was literally written in their house. I thought that was pretty cool, but that’s quite the literal reading of our passage today. What’s most important is that we model living out God’s Word for our kids.

 

And notice how back in v.2 it was your son and your son’s son, essentially your children and children’s children. Living out your faith, modeling a solid walk with God is not restricted or limited to parents alone. Grandparents, you play a crucial role in bringing up our children in the way of the Lord.

 

 

 

 

You have an impact too, remember my Mother’s Day sermon. Both the genuine faith of Timothy’s mother and grandmother were praised by the apostle Paul. Whether your impact is detrimental or beneficial depends on if and how you walk with God.

 

But children have a responsibility as well. Flip your Bibles over to Ephesians 6 and let’s read what God’s Word says about that.

 

Now, in Paul’s continuation of the household code, remember we talked about husbands and wives last week that was right before this, he begins here by calling on children to obey their parents. Not just any base obedience, but ‘in the Lord, for this is right.’

 

In the both the Greco-Roman world to which Paul wrote this, and in the Jewish world he was raised in household codes wouldn’t be addressed to children. They wouldn’t be addressed to wives either, and I know I didn’t touch on this, but this was because the command or exhortation would’ve been solely to the husband/father who had sole authority over the household.

 

By the fact alone that Paul is addressing children we know that being at the age of accountability and having a saving faith in Christ places the responsibility of following God’s Word to the best of their ability on our children.

 

Paul cites the fifth commandment, but the way he cites it is clearly from the retelling of the Ten Commandments in Deuteronomy 5, right before our main passage for today.

 

But Paul keeps it simple. Children, you are called to obey your parents. That’s all you have to do. Obey God by obeying your parents. And this obedience doesn’t end when you leave the house. Honoring your father and mother is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

 

Parents, godly parents, don’t stop showing their children how to walk with God once the kids are grown. And in the same way godly children don’t stop honoring their parents when they grow up.

 

 

 

The primary way we do this as children is obedience. But as the Bible also teaches, once we marry, we leave our parents and become one with our spouse. But that doesn’t negate the Biblical requirement of honoring our parents.

 

In fact, Jesus called out the Pharisees hypocrisy in letting people not take care of their parents if they devoted their things to God instead and how they voided the fifth commandment this way.

 

If children are still at home, obedience to parents was the primary way that children kept the commandment to honor father and mother. But for those who have grown and flew the nest, keeping that commandment involves continued deference to and care for aging parents. And let me just say that there are many in this church who demonstrate that so beautifully today.

 

Paul then addresses fathers, or parents in v.4 and this lines up beautifully with the expectation of parents in God’s kingdom seen in our passage from Deut. Paul tells fathers not to provoke their children to anger, but rather bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord.

 

Too many kids grow up and want nothing to do with God because their parents’ life didn’t match what they said God expects. They either claimed to walk with God and didn’t, or they kept their walk with God hidden.

 

Parents, our attitudes, words, and actions can drive a child to angry exasperation or resentment, so we have to keep them in check. That kind inconsistency, that ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ mentality causes resentment and exasperation is what leads to adult children saying that they want nothing to do with the God of their father. Because of whom God is, you must faithfully teach your children about Him by showing them how to walk with Him.

 

God delivered His people out of slavery to Egypt and handed down the law through Moses so that every parent was to teach every child how keep it and about what God had done for them.

 

 

 

 

God delivered His people, you and I, out of slavery to sin and fulfilled the law through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We are to teach our children about what Jesus did for us and how to follow Him. We do our best by faithfully modeling it for them, recognizing however that it is on them to be obedient.

 

And that’s probably the biggest challenge we face as parents, recognizing that their soul, their spirit, their salvation is at the end of the day in God’s hands. It is only by the work of the Holy Spirit that our children can be saved, no amount of rules, restrictions, work on our part can save them. But we are to lovingly point them to Christ by how we live and parent, and let the Spirit do the heavy lifting.

           

Loving God is at the heart of the family; it is at the heart of the home.

 

Let’s pray.